Vanitas' Lullaby
by Chofz
Summary: Modern times. Modern opinions. Modern sensations.  Vanitas' thoughts of moving forward from the dark past he has. Tryin to let Ventus know about his feelings.  BxB


_Note: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix_

Enjoy :)

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><p><strong><em>Vanitas' Lullaby<em>**

...

...

I always wanted to say this to you:

I always walk on the streets, feelin like a stray. I dunno what the future holds for me, I live with fear. I don't go to my place anymore, and if I do it's cause my breath smells like alcohol and the night treats me with loneliness; the only comfort I get in those moments it's my pillow tryin to get me to sleep. But even in my dreams I can't stay calm, remembering about the past, when you and I spent some time together, not knowing this city was about to swallow us.

I know you're too busy, trying not to sink in this monstrous city, and I also know that I'm too proud just to accept an invitation to your house for some dinner. Since kids, you were the kind hearted one, and me all the opposite. We've always been together; always being apart. Strange, also confusing is this feelin, maybe you sense it too.

Now, I don't trust people, they've corrupted my confidence. Always lookin at me like some kind of freak, like some kind of dark spectrum. The gangs on the streets respect me, knowing of what I'm capable of. But I feel so empty, and it was so fuckin hard to accept the reason. It cost me a lot of time, a lot of nights with a lot of girls, also a lot of fights. But I'm scared of what the answer might be. Cause of what I did to you.

Hope is the only thing that keeps me hanging, I don't even know yet if I'm walking with the world under my feet or behind me. Trying to remember why I was so stupid and ran away from home, and not listened to you. I always knew you were my only family, my only beloved one, so why the fuckin shit I didn't stay by your side? I can´t bear to lose you again . . .

So please . . . I'm here, standing in front of you, tryin to stop the pain inside me. The rain is sinking me in my horrible memories. Thunders symbolize my ordeal, my tireless search for a possible way out of this storm. But you, you look so marvelous under the rainfall. The way of your eyes almost closing 'cause of the drops sliding down your hair. The way of your lips tryin to articulate some words to express your surprise. The way your chest moves up and down.

Damn. I'm completely drugged of your scent. I almost forget why I'm here.

Would you forgive me? Would you accept me?

Snappin' from my thoughts just in time, I grab your wrist, before you run away. The warmth feels pretty good. Please, I need to tell you something.

You turn your head, but not completely, so I pull you close to me, takin' all risks. You look up at me; a mix of fear and sadness is what I see. I can't endure those eyes. I hug you; no matter what you do later; I hope you remember me telling you "I live for the now".

As we separate a little bit, I don't want to see your eyes, what they have to tell me. So, please forgive me. I kiss your lips. Feeling the heat even when the rain is cold and cruel. I sense the hope within me, giving birth to a passion I haven't felt before. My fear increase when you don't respond to the kiss. So I push you away slowly, and yet again, I don't wanna see your eyes, therefore I turn my head, then my entire body, preparing to leave. But then, the warmth of your arms around my waist . . . It's so refreshing. I hear your voice over the sound of the rain drops clashing on the floor.

_Please... _And something else. So I turn around and detect your expression. You were about to cry. I couldn't stand to see your face like that, then I hugged you, pressing you to my chest. Now I can listen what you are saying. **_Please . . . Please don't go. _**The rush of pain traveling along my chest is awfully familiar. **I won't go anywhere.**

I miss you.

I want you.

I need you.

. . .

I love you.

Please, let me stay like this forever.

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><p>Well, it's been a long time since I wrote in english, so please, if there are some mistakes let me know :P<p>

And REVIEWS, please! A writer appreciates the opinions of their readers! :3

See ya.


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